Let's Hear It For The Boys

In honor of the upcoming Hallmark holiday of Father’s Day, I thought I’d post some observations I’ve made about Senegalese Dads. Yes, there will be an obligatory post concerning gender roles and the inherent unfairness of both cooking and doing the dishes, but that’s for another time.

One of the most striking things I remember from being in South Africa was the lack of men. Both in the city and rural homes I lived in, there were very few men around and even fewer who showed any interest in the children. Due to the migrant labor system prevalent in much of Southern Africa, nearly all of the husbands/brothers/uncles we heard of were off working in mines or the big cities. While migrant labor certainly exists here in Senegal, it is not nearly as ubiquitous and has not drained rural areas of men as in other regions of Africa. So that’s observation #1: men are everywhere.

The second surprising thing for me has been how involved these guys seem to be with the children. I know, it’s sort of horrible for me to be surprised by this but I was. I thought that Senegalese mothers would be exclusively responsible for tending to small children, but I’ve seen a number of doting dads (and uncles and friends of dads) recently. For example, there was a guy in my PST village who I would see every few days – either he’d stop by our house or be hanging around with my friend’s host dad – and he always had his 2-year old daughter with him. I literally never saw him without her.

Here in Saare Sara, the dads seem to be just as involved. My host dad Oumar has 2 daughters. One is Toolye, the 3 year old, and the other is Binta, the newborn. It’s readily apparent how much not only Oumar loves his daughters, but how much his 4 brothers love them too. The uncles – Mamadou, Adama, Pate and Aliou – are all equally cute and affectionate with Toolye and the baby as their own father. Even random friends who drop in to say hello are affectionate toward the little kids – something I’ve never seen with mid-20s American men.

I should note, most of the cuteness I’ve seen has been restricted to daddy-daughter interactions. Maybe this is because most of the little kids I’ve seen have been little girls, or maybe it’s because girls are shown more outward affection. My host dad during PST definitely had a sweet spot for the little girl in our house, and while he wasn’t mean to the little boy, their interactions were noticeably different. As a proud member of the daddy-daughter club, I’d like to think there’s something special about the relationship between little girls and their dads in all cultures…but maybe I’m just projecting.

Anyway, here’s a shout out to all the cute Senegalese dads I’ve seen in the past few months and one for my own dad – happy father’s day! I love you!